much better

 i got all my angries out.

now a days i feel like i can do anything.
i haven't had the easiest of lifes,
i know what hard is.
but everything is so clear now.
the more i trust God
the more unstoppable i feel

the funny thing about God is,
i can remember when it felt like i had so much on my plate
that it just kept piling up
and i could never get through it all
that there wasn't enough breath in me to pray about it all
and now that God's presence is so prominent in my life
not only does my plate feel so light,
but he keeps adding more and more,
and and i don't ever feel it getting heavier.
God will only give you what you can handle.
now i understand
he will give you as much as you can handle, always pushing the limits,
so that i continue to grow.
because everytime he adds something,
he is adding something more to our relationship.

as i progress in this new role as God's servant
i can really see how the events in my life have lead me to this.
not only the events, but the people.
it makes me thankful for every new day..
and every new face.

That's life

I seriously am only writing this because no one reads this blog.
so if you happen to be reading it and don't feel like being offended,
stop reading.
i know you won't.

I am in Alabama.
for MY WHOLE spring break.
which a month ago, would have been my ideal week.
a month ago.
not now.

truth is..
I HATE IT HERE.
i was SOOO close to staying with a friend in Nashville.
the only reason i came back was because i haven't seen my sister
in like three weeks.
otherwise... i would not be here.

honestly,
i can't stand my old friends.
or a lot of them.
some of them (like the only one reading this) are okay,
because they understand why i wouldn't want to be here
that i have a life
and i didn't want this anymore than they did,
but that's life.
sucks.

the thing is,
for all my friends, they have the same life as they did before i moved,
the only difference, is that i'm not there.
so it's notice-able that i'm missing
for me, i started a whole new life
that they don't fit into..
so it's harder for me to miss them.

i'm not saying i don't miss any of them..
because i honestly do!
i reallyreallyreallyreally still love them.
it just gets annoying when they keep bugging me about when i'm coming.
excuse me.
i didn't realize my purpose in life was to make you happy.

i feel bad about saying this stuff...
it really doesn't sound like me.

i have friends though.
in brentwood..
that i could be hanging out with.
because we all know
that it is much healthier
for me to let go of my life here.
as much as that sucks.
that's life.

and the worst part about it is that
I'm missing bible study.
which is the absolute highlight(s) of my week!
it keeps me SANE.
and stops me from writing ugly blog posts
like right now.

iwannagohome.
but,
that's life.